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Dear Readers,
We learn so much from our children. What I have had the good fortune to learn is that my children give me strength and confidence I didn't know I had. I have realized over the years and through experience that I can do things I didn't think I could, simply because I need to for my children. Through their innocence, needs and dependence on parents or others who influence them, our children help us realize we can do things, that without them we would be unable to do.
We can be masters at manufacturing in our minds, a barrage of excuses to ourselves to rationalize our deficiencies. We think we are too fearful, too uneducated, too weak, too shy, too technically challenged, etc... etc... etc... When our children need our help, we can find ourselves effortlessly doing what we had supposed we were incapable of for whatever excuse we had fabricated to keep us from ever even trying. We can come to this realization through routine interactions.
From as far back as I can recall, jumping off that dock into Chandos Lake was one of the most absolutely gleeful activities throughout my childhood and still is to today. With my brother, Sean, and my cousins, Margaret and Karen, I could spend hours every day of the blessed time we spent together at Chandos, jumping off the dock, splashing into the lake and swimming around to the ladder to do it all over again and again and again. I just had to be sure to never let my feet touch the sandy bottom of the lake in the shallows as I made my way around to the ladder. That would have been too scary. When, heaven forbid, I did accidentally touch that murkiness, I would shudder in horror and let out a screech of terror, fearing that whatever was lurking in the soft soggy sand would surely swallow my vulnerable appendage. I carried the fear with me into adulthood. It was no trouble at all for me to uphold my belief, until something changed my perspective that is...
My epiphany occurred when I was at my grandmother's cottage on Chandos Lake. In all the years I had been jumping off my grandmother's dock into Chandos Lake I had painstakingly ensured my feet did not touch the bottom of the lake. With parenthood comes challenges. To coax my toddler to gleefully jump off the dock, I quickly realized it would be a tricky endeavour, unless I could stand on my own two feet to be there for my child. When children were depending on me to be there for them while they were learning to jump off the dock and make their own splash into the lake, it became more and more difficult to keep my own feet safe from the danger that was lurking in the murky bottom. It was difficult to tread water and dog paddle while coaxing my little treasures that there was "nothing" to be afraid of. "Just jump in," I would say. "I'll be here to catch you."
What I would catch occasionally was myself stoically asserting, "There's nothing to be afraid of," while I was madly treading away to keep my feet up and safe from whatever it was I was so afraid of. When our own children need us to be able to do something that had previously seemed impossible, we find we suddenly are quite capable. I just had to finally put my foot down. That is, I just put both feet down on the bottom with a quick little grimace and decided if others had been able to touch down without losing an appendage, I could too.
The benefits were manifold to say the least, although I didn’t immediately realize the magnitude of the leap forward I made with one small step down. Although the lake bottom was a little squishier than I would have liked it to have been, the secure foothold to step up to my responsibilities was quite firm. I am so grateful to my children for helping me plant my feet firmly on the ground to discover with full confidence that the benefits outweigh the risk of harm.
The gift of confidence we receive through parenthood is ours to give back and instill in our own children so that they too can have their feet planted firmly on the ground to stand tall and march proudly from where they are to where they want to be. As children teach their parents well, we have the glory of teaching our children well. It’s beautiful.
Ardently,
Kathleen
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Good News Toronto -- Good News Everywhere
Hello Dear Readers,
Just a quick note today to remind all that the December edition of Good News Toronto came out on December 2. You can see it on-line at http://www.goodnewstoronto.ca/.
There are some awesome articles and inspiring stories that you don't want to miss. When you savour every delightful morsel of inspiration to be gleaned from its pages, you'll feel empowered to handle all the news that comes your way for this day and any day.
In reality, there is a lot of great news and good stuff happening in our city and in our lives every day. Sometimes we just have to pay more attention to it to appreciate it and to resist the temptation to get bogged down in the negativity, that given its due is just as much in our reality.
The editor of Good News Toronto, Eva Karpati, aims to level the lopsided playing field where all forms of media meet in a an all out competition of one-up-manship for the most sensationalistic story they can present. While it's true that the gory details of the sensationalism are based mostly in fact, we can choose to simply accept that there are some bad things happening while we focus our attention on the glory of the good things that are also happening. Then we can engage in the one-up-manship of recounting a tale of "something even more wonderful" that happened or even better, we can actually contribute our efforts on making something even more wonderful happen for ourselves or for others.
Good News Toronto includes a regular feature called Random Acts of Kindness. When you have the good fortune to witness such an act, please do report it to info@goodnewstoronto.ca, and share the exhiliration with others who would love to know about it.
The October issue of Good News Toronto featured an article on a charitable organization called Basketeers. Please visit their website to learn more about the great things they are doing: http://www.basketeers.ca/region_basketeers.php. The December issue of Good News Toronto includes a short update to applaud the organization on their achievement of providing 912 baskets overflowing with useful items for women leaving shelters to set up on their own. Wow!!! When you think about it, there really are so many great people out there doing great things. When you read about it in Good News Toronto, you want to become a part of it and share in the good will toward others and the sense of accomplishment and gratification you get from helping others. One of my favorite inspiring thoughts comes from the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson in his quote: "It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."
When I Googled a few words to find the exact wording of that quote, I stumbled on this site: http://www.helpothers.org/index.php. When something looks too good to be true, it's worth looking at. Hope you'll enjoy the inspiration. There's so much good stuff, it's overwhelming. Share the good news. Let us all know about something even better that happened to you or to someone you know or someone you know of. The playing field is levelling. Game on!!!
Ardently,
Kathleen
Just a quick note today to remind all that the December edition of Good News Toronto came out on December 2. You can see it on-line at http://www.goodnewstoronto.ca/.
There are some awesome articles and inspiring stories that you don't want to miss. When you savour every delightful morsel of inspiration to be gleaned from its pages, you'll feel empowered to handle all the news that comes your way for this day and any day.
In reality, there is a lot of great news and good stuff happening in our city and in our lives every day. Sometimes we just have to pay more attention to it to appreciate it and to resist the temptation to get bogged down in the negativity, that given its due is just as much in our reality.
The editor of Good News Toronto, Eva Karpati, aims to level the lopsided playing field where all forms of media meet in a an all out competition of one-up-manship for the most sensationalistic story they can present. While it's true that the gory details of the sensationalism are based mostly in fact, we can choose to simply accept that there are some bad things happening while we focus our attention on the glory of the good things that are also happening. Then we can engage in the one-up-manship of recounting a tale of "something even more wonderful" that happened or even better, we can actually contribute our efforts on making something even more wonderful happen for ourselves or for others.
Good News Toronto includes a regular feature called Random Acts of Kindness. When you have the good fortune to witness such an act, please do report it to info@goodnewstoronto.ca, and share the exhiliration with others who would love to know about it.
The October issue of Good News Toronto featured an article on a charitable organization called Basketeers. Please visit their website to learn more about the great things they are doing: http://www.basketeers.ca/region_basketeers.php. The December issue of Good News Toronto includes a short update to applaud the organization on their achievement of providing 912 baskets overflowing with useful items for women leaving shelters to set up on their own. Wow!!! When you think about it, there really are so many great people out there doing great things. When you read about it in Good News Toronto, you want to become a part of it and share in the good will toward others and the sense of accomplishment and gratification you get from helping others. One of my favorite inspiring thoughts comes from the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson in his quote: "It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."
When I Googled a few words to find the exact wording of that quote, I stumbled on this site: http://www.helpothers.org/index.php. When something looks too good to be true, it's worth looking at. Hope you'll enjoy the inspiration. There's so much good stuff, it's overwhelming. Share the good news. Let us all know about something even better that happened to you or to someone you know or someone you know of. The playing field is levelling. Game on!!!
Ardently,
Kathleen
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Formula for Self Confidence Simplified for Early Learners
Welcome again Dear Readers led here from Napoleon Hill Yesterday and Today, Dale Carnegie, Microskills, and other places of inspiration:
As I have had the good fortune of many verbal requests, I am posting this version of the formula again today for easy retrieval. Hope this is helpful...
As promised in the guest column you may have read in the November 21 edition of the e-zine, Napoleon Hill, Yesterday and Today, the "Simplified Formula for Self-Confidence for Early Learners" follows immediately below.
“Simplified” Confidence Formula for Children (by Kathleen Betts, October 2008)
Adapted from the Formula for Self–Confidence in Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, 1937
1. I promise to practice doing things that will help me to get better at doing the special things I want to do most in my life.
2. I can close my eyes and make a picture that I can see clearly in my imagination, of myself doing the special things I want to do most.
3. Each morning when I wake up and each night before I sleep, I will say out loud “I know I can” while I think about what I want most to do and to have.
4. I have written down the words and drawn a picture of myself, to show clearly what I want to do most and what I want to have most.
5. I know that being the person I want to be and having what I want most, will last a long time if I am sure to always be honest and fair with others.
Others will be fair to me and helpful to me, because I am fair and helpful to others.
Others will believe in me, because I will believe in others and in myself.
I will read this page out loud every day until I can remember it and I will keep repeating it out loud every day so that I get ideas and choose to do things that will help me to achieve what I want most so that I can be the person I made in the pictures on paper and in my imagination.
Name: _____________________ Signature: __________________________
The “Simplified” Children’s Formula for Self-Confidence by Kathleen Betts has been adapted from Napoleon Hill’s Formula for Self Confidence with the consent and approval of the Napoleon Hill Foundation.
Kids may like to customize the formula even more to name a particular goal they are working toward instead of saying generics like "thing(s) I want most" and "special thing(s)." I hope this is a helpful tool to parents who are working together with their children to optimize potential and opportunity.
For more information on the work of Napoleon Hill, please visit the website at http://www.naphill.org/
If you are not already a subscriber to the inspirational weekly e-zine, Napoleon Hill Yesterday and Today, please click on this link if you are interested: http://mailer.napoleon-hill-news.com/common/SignMeUp.html?customerId=3.
Ardently,
Kathleen
As I have had the good fortune of many verbal requests, I am posting this version of the formula again today for easy retrieval. Hope this is helpful...
As promised in the guest column you may have read in the November 21 edition of the e-zine, Napoleon Hill, Yesterday and Today, the "Simplified Formula for Self-Confidence for Early Learners" follows immediately below.
“Simplified” Confidence Formula for Children (by Kathleen Betts, October 2008)
Adapted from the Formula for Self–Confidence in Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, 1937
1. I promise to practice doing things that will help me to get better at doing the special things I want to do most in my life.
2. I can close my eyes and make a picture that I can see clearly in my imagination, of myself doing the special things I want to do most.
3. Each morning when I wake up and each night before I sleep, I will say out loud “I know I can” while I think about what I want most to do and to have.
4. I have written down the words and drawn a picture of myself, to show clearly what I want to do most and what I want to have most.
5. I know that being the person I want to be and having what I want most, will last a long time if I am sure to always be honest and fair with others.
Others will be fair to me and helpful to me, because I am fair and helpful to others.
Others will believe in me, because I will believe in others and in myself.
I will read this page out loud every day until I can remember it and I will keep repeating it out loud every day so that I get ideas and choose to do things that will help me to achieve what I want most so that I can be the person I made in the pictures on paper and in my imagination.
Name: _____________________ Signature: __________________________
The “Simplified” Children’s Formula for Self-Confidence by Kathleen Betts has been adapted from Napoleon Hill’s Formula for Self Confidence with the consent and approval of the Napoleon Hill Foundation.
Kids may like to customize the formula even more to name a particular goal they are working toward instead of saying generics like "thing(s) I want most" and "special thing(s)." I hope this is a helpful tool to parents who are working together with their children to optimize potential and opportunity.
For more information on the work of Napoleon Hill, please visit the website at http://www.naphill.org/
If you are not already a subscriber to the inspirational weekly e-zine, Napoleon Hill Yesterday and Today, please click on this link if you are interested: http://mailer.napoleon-hill-news.com/common/SignMeUp.html?customerId=3.
Ardently,
Kathleen
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